


More Than Breathing

by SpectreZhulik



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Dirty Talk, F/M, Kaidan Porn Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-13
Updated: 2014-04-13
Packaged: 2018-01-19 04:08:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1454827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpectreZhulik/pseuds/SpectreZhulik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally posted on Tumblr for Kaidan Porn Week 2014. </p>
<p>Kaidan has hidden depths (and they're filled with smut).</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Than Breathing

“Aye-aye Commander. Secure and aweigh, ETA 40 minutes.”

Shepard closed her eyes and heaved a sigh that raised the temp inside her helmet a few degrees further. This was supposed to have been a simple smash-and-grab job to collect some intel from an _abandoned_ Cerberus facility. Instead, it had turned into a brutal, 18-hour slog through labyrinthine, husk-infested tunnels and a small army of security mechs. She was sweaty, hungry, sore and tired. Another 40 minutes trapped in her hardsuit on this godforsaken, airless rock was the last thing she wanted.

Vega seemed to pick up on her disappointment, bless him. “I can keep watch if you wanna try and catch some shuteye, Lola. Not that there’s anything else left alive on this _pinche_ moon.”

She wouldn’t normally agree, but right now she’s weary beyond words or reason and even a half-hour off her feet sounds like a gift. “Thanks, Lieutenant. Holler if you need anything.”

The rest of the team was already hunkered down in the remains of a guard shack at the edge of the LZ. Inside, Liara and Tali both slumped against Garrus, dozing on either shoulder as he fiddled with the scope on his rifle. Kaidan had settled against the opposite wall, his rifle balanced across his lap. He glanced up as she approached, face inscrutable behind his visor, and patted the comparatively rubble-free patch of floor next to him.

The lull since they’d made their way out of the wrecked underground labs had robbed her of all momentum and left her feeling dull-witted and achy all over. It was an agonizing chore to reach back and thumb the release on her shotgun so she could join Kaidan against the wall, and she groaned audibly as she stretched her legs out in front of her.

“You alright?” Even muffled by both their helmets, she can hear his concern.

“Just sore as all hell. Wish the Illusive Dick had sprung for a hot tub in my cabin instead of that useless fucking fishtank.”

His chuckle warms her to her toes and she lapses into companionable silence, letting the exhaustion settle over her like a warm blanket. She wants a nap, can almost taste it, but the last dose of stims is still thrumming through her system, leaving her jittery and too tired to sleep. Minutes tick by, and eventually even Garrus slumps forward, his troublesome scope forgotten. When Kaidan shifts restlessly next to her, she taps his arm to get his attention. He nods at the familiar signal, a finger waved in the space between their helmets, and keys in the command that opens their helmet comms in a private link. An inquisitive silence greets her. “What’re you thinking about?” she murmurs, not wanting her voice to carry past the confines of her helmet.

There’s just a hint of hesitation before he answers, with deceptive carelessness, “Fucking you senseless.”

The sudden, melting heat in her core defies every rule of physiology and good sense. She’d expected him to say _dinner,_ or maybe a long, hot shower. Or launch into the latest news on the omnitool-modding quandary he and Tali had been gnawing at for the past week.

Her head’s a little scrambled and there’s a beat before she manages to croak back, “Oh, really?”

“Mmhm.” She can hear his guilty grin, the hint of mischief in it. “After some pointless black-tie diplomatic reception where neither of us want to be. So we both drink more than we should, get a little tipsy, and make our escape as soon as we can.”

They’ve both settled back against the wall again, and he takes her silence as a cue to keep going. “You’re making me crazy, nibbling at my ear and kissing my neck in the hotel elevator, and I’ve had to watch your tight little ass in a dress and heels all night, so I can barely keep my hands off of you.”

He can still surprise her, sometimes. She has to bite her lip, fighting the urge to make him wait while she opens her omnitool to quadruple-check that their comms are on a closed loop. In the end, she trusts the fact that none of the trio across the room have shown any signs of stirring. And Vega would _certainly_ have made it known if he could hear them, by now, _and_ that he’d never let them live it down.

There’s a low, aching note of lust in his voice that makes her nipples tighten against her underarmor as he continues. “When we get back to our room, I’ve got you up against the wall almost before the door closes. I want so badly to just shove that dress up around your waist and fuck you right there, because it’s been two hours since you told me there’s nothing under it. Shameless minx.”

He sounds genuinely miffed at this imaginary Shepard and she can’t help but laugh. “I can’t be held responsible for my actions when you’re in a tux, Kaidan. Does things to me.”

He concedes that point with a grudging rumble before picking up the thread again. She closes her eyes, caught in the web of beautiful filth he spins in her ear. Her breasts in his hands, his mouth on her neck. Grinding his arousal against her like a horny teenager as she wraps a leg around his waist. Punch-drunk with exhaustion and spent adrenaline, it’s all too easy to imagine herself tipsy on champagne, wet and aching for him. Pushed against the wall of a posh hotel as his fingers swirl and grind against her slick center, driving her to a frenzy. By the time he has her naked, sprawled out on the bed beneath him, she really _is_ wet and aching for him, fighting the urge to squirm and press her thighs together, knowing it’s useless in her heavy armor.

His voice is growing strained, the consequences of arousal even more uncomfortable for him. “You’re so fucking beautiful when you spread your legs for me. Even though I want my cock inside you more than breathing, I have to just … stop for a minute, to look at you. The moonlight on your breasts… the way you bite your lip when you look up at me.” She can _feel_ his eyes, his hands on her, tracing the outlines of her body reverently. He sighs softly in her ear, and the tectonic shift takes her by surprise, the undercurrent of his love for her sweeping her away in a sudden rush of desperate affection.

Breaking their silent accord, she reaches over and slips her gauntleted hand into his, squeezing tightly.

“But…” he looks over at her, and stumbles for the first time, “But then I can’t take it anymore, I have to have you. The way you moan when I slip inside you-”

“ _Órale,_ Commander. Three minutes.” Vega’s voice breaks in, the group comm taking priority over her and Kaidan’s link. Next to her, Kaidan startles visibly, and she can feel the sudden sheepishness radiating from him. They share a moment, eyes meeting behind their visors, before Shepard heaves a sigh and clambers to her feet, offering him a helping hand.

“Thanks, Vega.” The others are shifting and stirring now, and the lieutenant takes her chagrined grumble for sleepiness when they join him to wait for the shuttle.

* * *

_Food, shower, sleep._ Kaidan’s priorities after a long day in full combat gear hadn’t changed since he was a lowly grunt, and he wasn’t alone. After hastily stripping armor and stowing weapons, their team all piled into the mess together, even Tali, for whom camaraderie trumped most mealtime practicalities. One big, exhausted, starving, cranky family. He found himself seated across from Shepard while they both wolfed down a double helping of… well, whatever this was. It felt a little like the old days, the two of them in a little bubble slightly apart from the rest. Glancing up just in time to catch her looking back at him, the slight twitch at the corner of her mouth before she’d blush and look away. They had a secret again.

Shepard finished first, excusing herself with a cheeky salute and the familiar admonition not to let the bedbugs bite. He wanted nothing more than to follow her to the loft straight away, but it was his turn to brief Hackett and he had to resign himself to a quick shower in the crew bathrooms before heading to the QEC. The old man was blessedly brief, at least. A five-minute rundown of the mission, a few questions, new orders, and Hackett out. Even so, by the end his weary legs were on autopilot as they carried him toward the lift and a warm bed with Shepard tucked neatly under his arm. A few hours of blissful oblivion, punctuated, he dared hope, by a slow, sleepy fuck when they woke and turned to one another in the night.

She’s in bed when he gets there, as he’d expected. What he hadn’t expected was that she’d be lying on top of the covers, awake and wearing nothing but a lazy smile. She turned to prop herself on one elbow as he approached the bed.

“I hope you plan to finish what you started.” Her voice itself is an invitation, as much as the tongue that darts out to wet her lower lip.

“What, so I can pass out on you and start to snore?” He’s only half-joking, but the sight of her bare breasts shifting as she rises up on her other elbow kindles something deep in his gut.

“What was that about wanting to fuck me more than breathing, then?” She stretches languidly, sliding toward the end of the bed to draw a toe up the outside of his thigh. The challenge in her grin, all that bare, golden skin seemed to bypass his brain and tap directly into some reserve of energy he hadn’t been aware existed. Sleep could wait.

She slid her foot around to trace up the inside of his thigh this time, and he caught it in both hands, tickling the arch so she was forced to yank it away with a hiss. He met her glare with a innocent smile, reaching down to tug his shirt free of his waistband. “Have you ever known me not to finish a job, Shepard?”

“Talk is cheap,” she teased, but her eyes tracked him hungrily. “You’re gonna have to show me, Major.”

Kaidan grinned, tugging his undershirt overhead. For a while, his rank had been a source of tension, a subtle, needling reminder of two lost years, angry words spoken, of the monumental _fuckup_ on the part of the universe that had allowed him to leapfrog her in rank. She’d used it when she needed distance, when things were wrong between them and it hurt her too much to call him Kaidan. Now, though… mostly she used it when she was flirting with him. Challenging him to push her, take her, show her she belonged to him.

He finished peeling out of his fatigues before climbing onto the bed, one knee between her thighs. Her arms circled his waist and she angled her head for a kiss, but he twisted aside, pressing his lips to the curve of her neck instead. He earned a gasp as he grazed his teeth along her throat, shifting his hips so she could feel he was already half-hard, pressed against her lower belly.

“Is this what you wanted, Shepard?” His voice is a husky whisper, lips brushing her earlobe before taking it in his mouth and tugging. Sliding one hand between her legs, he wound the other in her hair, tipping her head back gently to read the answer in her eyes as he coaxed a plaintive moan from her lips.

“Fuck, Kaidan, _yes please_.” For a moment all she could do was writhe against the hand he teased over her center while he went to work on her neck again.

She recovered from the dual onslaught quickly, though, skating her hands down his sides, pulling him closer, working her hips against his as she slid a hand between them to grip his erection. Even pinned against the bed by his bulk, she knew how to play him, with one smooth, torturous tug and a careful, cooing breath against the curve of his ear. He resisted the haze of lust, the primal urge to claim her completely right then, but only just. Instead, breaking away from her neck to crush his lips to hers, he let his hands roam freely, eagerly claiming every inch of her he could reach until finally they came to rest on her hips. He held them there, steadying her while he dragged his lips down her torso in a heated trail, treasuring the gasp and reflexive twitch as he ghosted his mouth over the ticklish valley between her belly and thighs.

Her hand was gentle where it traced the shell of his ear, and he glanced up just to see her smile, bottom lip caught between her teeth in anticipation. His heart stuttered, remembering his confession earlier, and he pressed a kiss to her inner thigh in unspoken acknowledgment of the moment they’d shared. She let her head settle back against the blanket as he lifted her thigh over his shoulder, opening her up for his mouth and hand, and he lost himself for a while in the taste of clean skin, in Shepard’s moans and little needful gasps.

“Ohh, fuck, Kaidan, _fuck_.” He can feel it when she crests the wave, the sudden clench and flutter around his fingers, the shimmer and fizz of static against his skin. She arches up on her tiptoes, hands that a moment ago had been scrabbling for purchase on the sheets now pressing down on his shoulders as though she’ll climb off him.

He reaches up to press his free hand to her chest, splayed between her breasts, steadying her as he coaxes her through her climax with gentle licks, tugging lightly at her clit with his lips. When she settles at last, he can feel her breathing begin to slow and steady under his palm. He slides his fingers out of her and up through her slit as he pulls away, the last, firm caress making her shiver and grin.

There’s no moonlight here in the black, but still he pauses for a moment to drink her in. He loves seeing her like this, even if it’s fleeting. Fluid and boneless, the weariness and anxiety that’s almost always in her eyes replaced by something warmer, softer. She knows, now, and rises up to meet him when at last he lets himself sink down into her. Her legs close around his waist and he’s lost again, lost in the clench of her thighs and the dizzying friction as she surrounds him. He won’t last long and neither of them need him to, so he doesn’t hold back, pushing faster and harder when she starts to arch her back, urging him deeper. His name on her lips, her lips on his ear, and suddenly he’s gone, pouring himself into her with a choked groan. It takes a minute for the world to right itself, but she’s smiling, catlike, when his vision clears again. Whispering endearments as she strokes the traces of gray at his temples.

Whatever phantom had fueled that burst of energy has fled and suddenly the weariness of a long day is back in full force as he rolls to the side, gathering her to his chest.

“Sleep?” she murmurs, her lips tickling the hollow of his collarbone.

“Sleep,” he agrees, and they disentangle themselves just long enough to crawl under the covers, fitting their bodies together again in a quiet nest of cotton and dreams.


End file.
